Think Perfectionism Isn’t Affecting Your Kids? Think Again.

Why Are Kids Carrying So Much Pressure Today?

It’s hard to ignore how much kids today are carrying. They’re juggling more than ever before, and it shows in every part of their lives. The pressure to succeed isn’t just academic anymore—it’s social, emotional...and constant! The weight of trying to be everything, all the time feels heavier than ever.

And here’s the thing—I know that some magical series of links and clicks led you to this very post because you care about your kids. Parents are seeing patterns of perfectionism as early as preschool or kindergarten at this point. Middle and high schoolers are suffering also. You see them working hard—sometimes maybe too hard—and you want them to succeed.  I'm sure you find yourself worrying and wondering: Why do they feel so much pressure? Maybe you’ve even asked yourself: Did we, as parents, create this?  Transparently...I have.

Perfectionism Doesn’t Discriminate

It’s easy to think perfectionist tendencies only show up in certain circles—like with kids who are privileged, over-scheduled, or hyper-focused on achievement. But perfectionism doesn’t discriminate.

Kids today are under pressure in every area of their lives. It started with perfect grades and accolades, trophies, certificates and more. But now, they want...no, NEED to:

• Look just right.

• Say the right things.

• Fit in perfectly—online and offline.

And it’s every single day. There’s no break, no room for mistakes, and no way to simply be their perfectly imperfect selves.

When Perfectionism Feels Like Survival

I know it’s a common belief, but this pressure to be perfect doesn't always stem from social media interactions or the drive for top grades. Sometimes it runs much deeper than that.

In many Black, Brown, immigrant, and first-gen families, perfectionism isn’t about seeking the spotlight or flaunting success. It’s about survival—a feeling of responsibility to protect what’s been fought for and ensure it’s never lost.

But instead of securing our future, it robs our kids of the freedom to grow, make mistakes, and figure out who they really are.

We're starting to see it now; perfectionism actually doesn’t protect us. Instead, it traps us—and our kids too.

Why This Series Matters

This series brings to light some of the rarely discussed reasons why so many kids today are chasing perfection and sadly burning out before they even hit high school. We’ll look at:

• The hidden pressures driving perfectionism.

• How culture, survival, and legacy play a role in pushing kids to be perfect.

• How we can shift the focus from survival to thriving—helping kids find balance while ditching the weight of perfectionism.

Our kids deserve to reach high expectations without being crushed by them—and it’s up to us to break the cycle that holds them back.

Let’s figure out what’s really behind this—and start creating a future where our kids can grow without the constant pressure to be perfect.